marching to my own beat......

Having a moment of weakness, feeling like a misfit in this crazy lil world right now. I am strong enough that I know I am am happy alone, but just wishing I had some genuine friends near by who truly care about me and lift me up. I am good at lifting myself up, but just miss having real friends around to do things with and confide in, who I can trust. Seems like nobody "gets" me or appreciates me for me. Can be really lonely at times. But I am remembering a TD Jakes sermon where he spoke about how real leaders never really fit in, they are misfits by nature, because they were born to lead, not blend in. Not sure how much of a leader I am, but I guess marching to the beat of my own drum is leading, even if nobody else is following. Like Romans 12:2-3 says, I am gonna focus on renewing my mind and not being conformed to the world. Still I pray for likeminded people to enter my life....people who inspire me, people who encourage me, people who appreciate me, people who challenge me to be better........yet I also pray that I can be and do all those things to the people around me. I know I am alone right now for a divine reason, so I am also taking advantage of this great gift of peaceful alone time to renew my heart, soul, and mind. Just writing this to help me figure out my place in this world and also to put it all out there, so if anybody else has these issues, it may help you as well. I once told my dad many years ago, that my biggest fear in life is becoming complacent. I always want to be changing and improving and moving forward, which is a good thing, but it doesn't come without a price. I chose the paths I take for a reason.....like the bible says, the steps of a good man (woman) are ordered by the Lord. So I will continue on the path I am on, even if I am walking in it alone, knowing that there is a reason for it all...........okay, time for bed, feels good to write from my heart. So grateful for writing as a way to express myself that I just can't seem to do as well any other way. This is my creative outlet to deal with life. If anybody reads this, I hope me putting myself out there for the greater good inspires you to do the same in your own way! :)