Everything is going wrong.....so it appears

Well, lately God has been pushing me to make some changes in my life, and pushing me way out of my comfort zone....Again. My life over the few years has been contantly pushing me in every area out of my comfort zone. Finally got a new apartment after 31/2 years, and it is roach infested! My biggest fear ever! I am all alone and nowhere else to go, so I have to deal with it. This is such a hard challenge for me, cuz if anybody knows me well, they know I have the WORST PHOBIA of roaches! I even moved back home to Iowa from Houston, Texas when I was 25 in part, due to huge roaches in my apartment. I believe this is just God making me deal once and for all with all my fears. I must push forward and through them all with His help. I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me...these roaches just symbolize my life lately....things not going as planned, and disappointments and stressers at work and in my relationships. I believe this is Gods way of testing my faith and relying on Him totally for all things in my life. Man......this is soooo hard, at times I am tempted to quit. But that is when I draw closer to God and cry out to Him to hug me and heal me and BRING ME THROUGH this transition in life victorious, with no regrets, coming out stronger than I was before. God never lets you go through anything without there being a purpose for it. Instead of asking Him "why" like i always have, I will just trust that He knows what He is doing, and purge out my fears and negative emotions to Him, instead of getting drunk, or stuffing my face with food to numb the pain like I used to do..........so through these times of trial, I will praise Jesus for already defeating the enemy for me. I will stand firm in Gods promises and be grateful for what i do have. Nothing good in life ever comes easy.....patiently enduring all things because I know the outcome is worth it!!